Let there be light. Alas! It dispersed.

December 8, 2007 at 6:23 pm (bitchery, night, sadness) (, , )

Why? Really?

This! I mean all this (the author looks up dramatically and points at all that’s around her) is a necessity.

Till now, I had neither the inclination to, nor the belief in sitting down and writing about my life, it’s ills, how it kills, or about resorting to pills.

But now, trust me, it has become necessary. So please, forgive me for indulging in what I believed till now to be borderline sin: Ego-writing (Is that a term, yet?).

I had nothing but contempt for people that took out time to write about their cats,their silly love-lives, what they had for breakfast and their disoriented sexual orientations; till now that is. Now it’s alright. By the way, have I told you about my cat? I call him Burberry. He’s a cool cat(damn! That’s something I’ve never managed to be!).

I look outside the window. This city is f-r-e-e-z-i-n-g cold. So is everybody around me. There’s A that can’t be bothered even if I proceeded to kill myself, in her presence. Or B that would plan to stop me but she’d get busy half way through and proceed to execute her other, obviously more-important plans.

Man, I’m feeling better already. Did I tell you why this blog was created in the first place?No? Okay, so I will, now: Nothing fancy. This is an experiment in refuge. Refuge in bitchery, refuge in bitterness, refuge in vocal profanity of the written sort 😀 😀 . Above all, an experiment to find out if snubbed thoughts are what made me so miserable these hellish two years.

For once, I don’t want to be politically correct; not any more. Fuck the world. Oh boy! Being something-teen(or just off, if you want the truth), in an ideal world, that would be a bit of a catchphrase paralleling hey-how-are-you-doing in my holy life. But no! I can’t recollect even a single instance of me saying That, in a long, long ,long time. Now you know what the matter is, don’t you? Yes. I am your run-of-the-mill loser, marinating in anonymity hoping to feel better, this way, cussing and swearing around.

But No, this is not me. This is another person within me, someone I’ve constantly pushed around and silenced. A comatose, dying animal that can be revived only with some good ol’ TLC. Wake up! the angelic Bitch in me, and conquer the night that is, but yours! This is giving me a nice soaring kick already!

Why a reversed rainbow? It sounds deep, no? You don’t think so? I say so. That’s enough said. Consider that your first clue, gentle reader.

I have little else to stay. A blog deserves an introductory post and here it is. Hmm. It isn’t long enough. I need to say something deep and meaningful. Okay,

Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, errr….

wait.

I’ve flipped.

Alright: my shiny new blog, this one’s for you.

Stranger than your sympathy
And this is my apology
I killed myself from the inside out
And all my fears have pushed you out

(and I proceed onto the chilly night as the song plays on)

See you another night, friend.

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